February 25, 2026

"When you blame others, you give up your power to change."

—Robert Anthony

When Blame Feels Justified

In 2018, Starbucks faced a major public backlash after two Black men were arrested while waiting in a Philadelphia store. The arrests were captured on video and went viral. Public anger was justified. There were calls for boycotts. The situation clearly reflected a systemic failure.
​
The CEO at the time, Kevin Johnson, could have blamed the individual employee, the police officers, or local miscommunication. Those explanations might have been partially true. Instead, he publicly accepted responsibility on behalf of the company. Starbucks closed more than 8,000 stores for racial bias training and reframed the incident as a corporate culture issue rather than a one-employee mistake. He did not deny that individuals were involved, but he chose institutional responsibility over defensive blame.
​
It's so easy to fall into a blame posture when I believe "it wasn't my fault." But every time I fail to stop and consider questions like, What can I learn from this? How can I grow from this? What helps me focus forward instead of backword?, I give up my unique power to be better. I remain in victim mode.
​
Blame may focus on the fault of someone else, but responsibility determines how I change. That shift doesn’t erase injustice. It simply refuses to let the past determine the story of my life.

​The Post-Affair Marriage: Who Broke It? Who Should Fix It?​

In this podcast episode, I take a nuanced look at responsibility, blame, and rebuilding a marriage after infidelity.

​When Blame Becomes the New Language​
A reflective look at how blame can quietly stall healing if it becomes the only posture in a wounded relationship.

Also...

​Lonely Together: How We Drifted and What Happened Next​

After years of distance, a brief affair forced this couple to confront their loneliness and decide whether they could build something new.

If you had an affair and need help, I'd love to connect with you. Tell me your story and I'll give you some personal feedback. I've been there. No judgement. No catch.