April 15, 2026

In this newsletter, I’m using the substitute "P//N" to refer to something that often stays hidden behind vague language, closed tabs, and a lot of discomfort. I’m choosing that workaround to keep this email deliverable and make room for a conversation that many people need, and few feel safe enough to start.

"Shame thrives on secrecy, silence, and judgment."

—Brené Brown, Atlas of the Heart

An Uncomfortable Topic

This week, I released two major resources dealing with the issue of P//N: an article and a podcast episode. Whatever term we use for it, the impact is real. It affects trust, intimacy, honesty, and the emotional safety that relationships need to heal.
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Too often, this issue gets pushed into the shadows. People minimize it, joke about it, hide it, or carry deep shame around it. Partners feel confused and hurt. The person caught in the cycle often feels trapped between secrecy and self-loathing. And because both people feel so alone, the silence itself can become part of the damage.
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​That is why I want to encourage something different: talk about it. Talk about it honestly. Talk about it without euphemisms inside your relationship, even if I have to use one here in the newsletter. Talk about what it has cost, what it has replaced, what it has numbed, and what it has made harder to face. You don't need perfect wording; you just need to tell the truth.
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If this issue has affected your relationship, you are not alone, and you do not have to remain stuck in secrecy and shame. My hope is that this week’s content helps open a door to clearer understanding, more compassionate honesty, and the kinds of conversations that actually move healing forward.

Podcast Episode: Addicted to P//N​
Jeremy Lipkowitz shares how this addiction quietly diminishes contentment and intimacy, and what the inner work of recovery looks like.

Article: P//N and Infidelity: What Every Couple Should Consider​
Examining the ways secret or compulsive use can erode intimacy and increase vulnerability to affairs.

What Else Is New...

• Post: When the Life You Perform Isn't the Life You're Living​
  What happens when the exposure of infidelity contradicts a finely crafted public performance?
• Post: Sex After an Affair​
  How do couples navigate physical intimacy after betrayal?

If you had an affair and need help, I'd love to connect with you. Tell me your story and I'll give you some personal feedback. I've been there. No judgement. No catch.