June 26, 2026

Some offers and discounts are only available to subscribers. Be sure to look for these in future newsletters.

"It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop."

—Confucius

A Painful Reminder

After more than a year of my bike sitting in my garage collecting dust, I finally took it out for a ride last week. I love riding, but I felt less confident than "normal"—and when I tried to make a sharp turn, I went down. Bloodied hand, bruised calf, wounded pride.
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No serious damage. But it was a clear reminder of something I already knew and apparently needed to feel again: we lose efficiency in our abilities when we stop practicing them.​
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It made me think about relationships. The skills that hold a relationship together (like honest communication, attentiveness, and the willingness to be vulnerable) don't maintain themselves. They go soft when they're not used. And sometimes we don't realize how much ground we've lost until we try to make a sharp turn and find ourselves on the pavement.
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The good news about getting back on a bike is that the foundation is still there. It just needs work. I think the same is true for most relationships, even ones that have been through serious damage.
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If you've been neglecting some of the basic practices in your relationship, consider this a nudge to dust them off.

Podcast #63: Understanding EMDR: It's Weird, but It Works​

EMDR therapist Laurel van der Toorn explains how this research-backed but admittedly "weird" modality works, why it's especially relevant for betrayal trauma, and what to expect if you decide to pursue it.

Article: I Regret My Affair. I'm Also Grateful for It.​
A person who has caused real harm through infidelity can hold regret and gratitude simultaneously.

What Else Is New...

• Web Tool: The Resource Finder​
  The easiest and quickest way to find all the Affair Healing resources that fit your circumstance and needs.
• Podcast #62: The Betrayer's Pain​
  Tim interviews Dr. Monique Thompson to discuss the inner trauma experienced by the person who had the affair.
• Post: A Partner's Privacy​
  What your partner called privacy may have been something else: secrets you never knew existed.
• Post: Affair Bubbles
  ​There's a reason affairs feel like they do. They usually exist inside a bubble. And like all bubbles, the experience inside has almost no resemblance to what's outside.
• Post: Slow Drift: "I Never Meant for It to Happen"​
  The Unintended Affair: You told yourself you never meant for it to happen, but your hand was on the rudder the whole time.

If you made it this far reading the newsletter, congratulations. You may be eligible for a free coaching session with Tim. Use it to address a particular need, ask questions, or just chat... It's up to you.
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Just schedule a session and then enter the code "Newsletter" near the top of the checkout page. If a coupon is still available, the cost will go to zero. (If it doesn't, then all coupons have been used and you can cancel the booking.)
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There are only five coupons available, and they must be redeemed by July 4. Only one coupon per family, please.