A weekly newsletter offering affair recovery help through articles, podcasts, downloads, and recommended resources. Presented by Tim Tedder, an affair recovery counselor for over 20 years.
Share
My Worst Christmas
Published 18 days ago • 2 min read
December 24, 2025
“I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.” — Ebenezer Scrooge
Christmas has always been my favorite season. Some of my sweetest childhood memories come from holidays spent at my grandparents’ “perfect” Christmas house in Toledo, Ohio. I was a Florida boy raised in a ranch house, so snow, staircases, and a home full of happy relatives felt magical. Years later, I got to relive that wonder through my own children. I worked hard to make Christmas special for them, and I loved every bit of it. On Christmas Eve, I could hardly sleep—not from childhood excitement, but from the anticipation of watching them wake up in the morning. That’s why the first Christmas we didn’t celebrate together as a family was especially painful. In the years after my affair, my ex-wife would leave the back door unlocked so I could quietly come in late at night, fill the stockings at the foot of the kids’ beds, and sleep on the couch until they woke early in the morning. It wasn’t ideal, but it mattered. That ended when she remarried. My first Christmas without my children arrived, and the loss was unmistakable—another consequence of choices I had made. I rented a stack of movies (back when Blockbuster was still a thing) and tried to treat the day like any other. It wasn’t. I don’t know what tomorrow holds for you. I hope it’s filled with joy. For some, I know there may be pain. For many, probably a mixture of both. What I’ve learned is this: the grace of forgiveness and redemption leaves room for hope. I’m thankful for the healing that has taken place over the years—and for the gift of celebrating this season with my children, and their children.
Christmas seasons after betrayal became quiet markers of grief, survival, and slow rebuilding, shifting the holiday from something lost to something redefined. Love and joy now come from presence, honesty, and a steadiness earned through pain.
This is a story-driven affair recovery episode (with two extended audio clips) discussing the Fog of Self-Justification vs. the Light of Love’s Promise, plus four practical steps to reclaim promises and protect trust. If you preview a written version, without the stories, read the article: Consider Your Compromises.
What Else Is New...
Post: The Not-So-Happy Holidays After betrayal, holidays can be a challenge. Here are a few tips that might help you get through the next week.
Post: The Apology Casserole Attempts to help, to heal, to apologize… they don’t need to be perfect. They just need to be sincere.
Rising Phoenix: Healing My Nervous System Rising Phoenix’s body began healing only after she named her Complex PTSD, reclaimed her boundaries, and stopped abandoning herself to feel safe in relationships. The real recovery turned survival into stability, and self-protection into self-trust.
A weekly newsletter offering affair recovery help through articles, podcasts, downloads, and recommended resources. Presented by Tim Tedder, an affair recovery counselor for over 20 years.
January 7, 2026 "You can’t reason with someone who’s rewriting reality to quiet their conscience."—Linda MacDonald Up, Down, and Onward The start of a new year has a way of pulling us into reflection as we look back on what’s been and forward toward what might be next. As I’ve been doing that personally, I’ve also been doing it with Affair Healing. What follows is a candid look at the past year: the moments that encouraged me, the ones that disappointed me, and the direction I’m moving as we...
Dec 31, 2025Next week's newsletter will include new information about what's coming next to Affair Healing and The Affair Recovery Room podcast. See you in the new year! “Last year was a fine teacher, but I’m ready to graduate now.” —unknown Last December 31, our website and podast had been mostly stagnant for five years. That doesn't mean we had stopped working. All three of us—Jenn, Sharon, and I—remained active in our counseling and coaching work, but we weren't releasing fresh...
December 10, 2025 "There isn't a narcissist under every bush... but there's too many of them out there." —Annette Chesney Top 10 Takeaways about Narcissism I recently talked with Annette Chesney about being in a relationship with a narcissist. You can listen to our conversation or read a summary of it, but here are my top takeaways... Narcissists can often fool counselors who aren’t experienced with dealing with that behavior, so the partner remains an unhelped victim. Narcissism can be seen...