the hard lessons

Published 17 days ago • 1 min read

Nov 5, 2025

Not long ago, I recommended a new book written specifically to Christians who have been betrayed and abandoned by their spouses. The book is now available in paperback. Check it out here: Redeeming the Post-Affair Divorce, by Linda MacDonald.

"When I first came here, I was happy. I didn't feel guilty. Now I feel more like—did I make a mistake?"

—"Kevin"

Several years ago, I was coaching a man (we'll call him Kevin) who chose to leave his wife and children to begin a new life with his affair partner. He’d heard my cautions, weighed them, and decided to go forward anyway.

So I made him an offer.

I told him I’d continue coaching him—for free—if he’d let me record our sessions. I wanted to walk with him through the journey, wherever it led, and maybe others could learn from his experience, too.

Recently, I’ve been revisiting those recordings—nearly 9 hours of conversation spread over 2.5 years. Listening to our stories again, I’m reminded that our deepest pain often holds our most important lessons.

Are you in one of those painful seasons right now? If so… what might it be trying to teach you?

—Tim Tedder

P.S. Those conversations with "Kevin" will soon show up in The Affair Recovery Room episodes.

Recovery Room Episode #29

In Part 2 of this "Bad Advice" series, we consider five more opinions about affair recovery that miss the mark. Once again, this episode includes audio sketches to illustrate its content.

Music Video: This Healing Place

The theme song for our site and podcast is illustrated with scenes in this new music video, just added to our blog posts.

What Else Is New...

Rising Phoenix: When Knowing Isn't Healing
In her first year after betrayal, she realized that knowing about healing isn’t the same as living it. Only when she stopped pretending and faced her pain with honesty did true healing begin.
Post: The Late Night Suspect
When a late-night female voice drifted from the living room, one wife feared the worst. This light (true) story explores how betrayal creates suspicions.

275 Medical Dr #3622, Carmel, IN 46082
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